RealLife Radio #99 – LOL: Make People Laugh in English

Do you feel like your English is a little dull and boring?

Well, in this awesome episode of RealLife Radio we are going to help you start changing that. You are going to learn some cheesy (see below) jokes that work really well for ice-breakers when speaking English.

Also, we are going to give you some great pronunciation tips, lots of new vocabulary and expressions, and help you understand a scene from the Simpsons, featuring family Guy characters.

• Direct Download: Go to this page, from there Right Click & Save.

Top 20 New Words and Expressions From Episode:

1. Poke – touch someone with the tip of your finger
2. Giggle – to laugh lightly in a silly way
3. Break down – to separate into smaller parts
4. Wicked – cool, great, dope
5. Head off – to go someplace; “let’s head off to Las Vegas.”
6. Ups and downs – good and bad aspects of a situation
7. Cheesy – something is overly sentimental  (other synonyms: corny, sappy)
8. Gotcha – colloquial way to say “I understand”
9. Tacky – distasteful, not fashionable (related to clothing)
10. Punchline – the part of the joke that makes you laugh
11. Fist – a closed hand used to punch with
12. Living under a rock – when someone is uninformed of current events
13. Tuxedo – a very formal suit, sometimes called a penguin suit
14. Up your sleeve – to have a surprise secret or plan that can help you out
15. Good Samaritan – a person who is generous in helping others
16. To be on fire – performing really well
17. Stalker – someone who follows you and watches from a distance (very creepy thing to do)
18. A looker – a good looking person
19. Trim – to cut a little bit of hair, beard, garden
20. Slapstick – a type of humor with exaggerated physical activity

Shoutouts:

• Andrew Levine from Russia: “Aww yeah! Thank you ver and very and very much from Russia. The stuff that you do for people around the world is unbelievably kickass. I recommend you to all my friends. Continue in the same spirit guys. And one more time, thank you very much.”

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Kickass Quote:

• “Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning how to dance in the rain.” – anonymous  (suggested by Fluency Circle member, Jaydeuk)

Conversation Topic:

• Get ready to laugh your ass off, today’s conversation topic is all about jokes, puns, and having fun while learning English.

Killer Clip:

• Practice your comprehension and with this randomly funny scene from the Simpson, with all the members of Family Guy.

Song: Weird Al Yankovic –Word Crimes

Lyrics

Everybody shut up, WOO!
Everyone listen up!
Hey, hey, hey, uh
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey

If you can’t write in the proper way
If you don’t know how to conjugate
Maybe you flunked that class
And maybe now you find
That people mock you online

Okay, now here’s the deal
I’ll try to educate ya
Gonna familiarize
You with the nomenclature
You’ll learn the definitions
Of nouns and prepositions
Literacy’s your mission
And that’s why I think it’s a

Good time
To learn some grammar
Now, did I stammer
Work on that grammar
You should know when
It’s “less” or it’s “fewer”
Like people who were
Never raised in a sewer

I hate these word crimes
Like I could care less
That means you do care
At least a little
Don’t be a moron
You’d better slow down
And use the right pronoun
Show the world you’re no clown
Everybody wise up!

Say you got an “I”,”T”
Followed by apostrophe, “s”
Now what does that mean?
You would not use “it’s” in this case
As a possessive
It’s a contraction
What’s a contraction?
Well, it’s the shortening of a word, or a group of words
By the omission of a sound or letter

Okay, now here’s some notes
Syntax you’re always mangling
No “x” in “espresso”
Your participle’s danglin’
But I don’t want your drama
If you really wanna
Leave out that Oxford comma
Just keep in mind

That “be”, “see”, “are”, “you”
Are words, not letters
Get it together
Use your spellchecker
You should never
Write words using numbers
Unless you’re seven
Or your name is Prince

I hate these word crimes
You really need a
Full time proofreader
You dumb mouth-breather
Well, you should hire
Some cunning linguist
To help you distinguish
What is proper English

One thing I ask of you
Time to learn your homophones is past due
Learn to diagram a sentence too
Always say “to whom”
Don’t ever say “to who”
And listen up when I tell you this
I hope you never use quotation marks for emphasis
You finished second grade
I hope you can tell
If you’re doing good or doing well
About better figure out the difference
Irony is not coincidence
And I thought that you’d gotten it through your skull
What’s figurative and what’s literal
Oh but, just now, you said
You literally couldn’t get out of bed
That really makes me want to literally
Smack a crowbar upside your stupid head

I read your e-mail
It’s quite apparent
Your grammar’s errant
You’re incoherent
Saw your blog post
It’s really fantastic
That was sarcastic (Oh, psych!)
‘Cause you write like a spastic

I hate these Word Crimes
Your prose is dopey
Think you should only
Write in emoji
Oh, you’re a lost cause
Go back to pre-school
Get out of the gene pool
Try your best to not drool

Never mind I give up
Really now I give up
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey
Go Away!

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